Children

Children don’t say, “I had a hard day at school today; Can I talk to you about it?” They say, “Can you play with me?”

-Lawrence J. Cohen

I’ve often heard parents say things like, “I wish kids came with a manual or parenting handbook.” The reality is, parenting is one of the toughest jobs and biggest growth edges you’ll ever have in life. Becoming a parent is an act of love, courage and faith…truth and grace. Our kids often teach us as much as we teach them over the course of our lives. We learn as parents that we only have control over ourselves….but we can contribute to shaping our children from the values and beliefs that guide our everyday decisions and lives. And then one day, we have to let go and allow this individual that we helped to create become their own person and define their own journey even when it doesn’t align with what we think it — or they — should be.

What matters most whether your child is a stubborn toddler trying to assert themselves (I hear parents say, “My child doesn’t listen”), a teen (I hear parents say, “I’m just trying to keep them from making the same mistakes I did when I was their age”), or a young adult struggling to figure out how to live their best life, parents need to learn how to attune to their child’s needs by listening and meeting them where they are. This is one of the biggest gifts you can give your child.

Maybe as a parent you think you already do this, or maybe you don’t remember how to do this? Think back to when your child, teen or young adult was a baby and you could anticipate their needs before they could even use words. This is what it means to truly listen or be attuned to your child’s needs. This is where you meet them and can support them.

Are you struggling to connect with a child?

Couples

"The quality of your relationships determine the quality of your life."

-Esther Perel

You know what the other challenging growth edge I made reference to earlier is — our relationship with our significant other. Our intimate relationships are beautiful and messy. In simple logic, they’re kind of like technology, we need them to function efficiently in this quickly evolving world. They are great when they work providing us with safety and pleasure, BUT when they aren’t working our whole life feels like it’s falling apart and impossible to navigate. We don’t have passwords to navigate websites or the language to communicate our feelings and needs. It’s like we’ve been emotionally hijacked and held for ransom until we can work through the challenge(s) to become connected again.

Have you ever felt like this? Like what used to come effortlessly, now seems so complicated? That no matter what you say, it’s never right? Like you walk on eggshells for fear of doing or saying the wrong thing and then get blamed for not communicating? Like you know exactly what you want to share regarding how you feel, but then become so emotionally flooded that it all comes out jumbled and not at all like you planned in your head? Maybe you don’t recognize this person you once knew so well and you don’t know who you are with them anymore, or without them for that matter?

Contact me to learn how to navigate the beautifully messy so that you can reconnect with yourself and your loved one…or just yourself.

Family

“When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers from deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That’s the message he is sending.”

-Thich Nhat Hanh

I’ll never forget a comment my brother made when we were growing up. It has stayed with me all these years. “We aren’t normal,” he said. What I didn’t know at the time is that most people feel varying degrees of this comment regarding their own families. I don’t know if it’s the idealized versions we hold in our heads about what family is or the socially conditioned ways we’ve been taught to think of family, or both. But what I’ve come to learn is that family is who and what you make it. There is no cookie cutter family. You and the members of your family define the meaning of the word…and what is your normal. And because we are all unique individuals, there are usually layers of dynamics that come into play when a group of people come together in this thing we call life as a family.

What are your challenges? There’s always a way to work through them with love and empathy.