Marriage Family Therapy
Every person has value that can be enriched and strengthened.
Lafayette — California
People often ask me how therapy can help…
In life when things aren’t working for us it’s because we’ve lost our way connecting with ourselves and others. A large part of our existence on Earth is associated with the need to connect, love, and be loved. Somewhere along the line, we get caught up in being who we think others want us to be — maybe our parents, maybe a good friend, maybe our significant other, maybe society as a whole.
When we start to view ourselves by other peoples’ definitions of happiness and success, one day we look up and realize we don’t really know the person who is staring back at us from the mirror…or how that person got there. We coast along on a fairly even keel until we’re faced with a challenge or shaken up by an event that we can’t seem to navigate on our own…and we feel lost because external validation was the driving force for how we lived instead of the much-needed internal validation that seems so hard to access. We don’t have enough self-awareness and the lens we see through is foggy at best — we need additional support at such times.
What’s the story you keep telling yourself?
Have you ever had thoughts like:
I'll be happy when...
—
Our family isn't normal...
—
My kid is great but...
—
If only he/she...
—
What have I done wrong as a parent?
—
Who am I…and what do I want out of life?
—
Is it normal to feel like this in my marriage?
—
It’s all my fault…
—
I'll be happy when... — Our family isn't normal... — My kid is great but... — If only he/she... — What have I done wrong as a parent? — Who am I…and what do I want out of life? — Is it normal to feel like this in my marriage? — It’s all my fault… —
Therapy can help because it focuses on what life is all about… the relationship, our relationships.
One of the most important considerations when looking for a therapist, is to select someone with whom you feel a connection, someone you feel comfortable with. It is through this relationship, what’s known as a corrective experience, that you will heal yourself and your relationships with others. With your therapist’s support you will formulate a blueprint of how to relate to and connect with yourself and others. A beautiful visual of this healing that a wise mentor shared with me back when I entered this field is seeing the therapist as representing the bridge back to living a meaningful life, one stepping stone at a time. Therapy takes time, engagement, the hard work of showing up and being vulnerable, determination and perseverance. But most of all, it takes loving yourself enough to realize that you’re worth it, and you owe this to yourself and the other people in your life.
